I just feel led to share with others various Bengali traditions.  While the world is shrinking in many ways I feel led to bring out the various cultural traditions we have in our Bengali culture from where I have come out somewhat.  I believe our ancestors have lived in Bengal, India for the past five generations prior to which they lived in the northern parts of India.  The Indo Gangetic plain provided a very easy going life to our ancestors apart from the fact that all this was prior to the industrial revolution in Europe starting off with the discovery of the steam power to turn turbines and other engines to generate power.  All this led to a fast paced life with more ready money on hand and a life away from the rural/agricultural economy in the main that had been the chief source of subsistence as well as wealth in most parts of the world.  I believe the sedantary life gave people opportunities to interact with other and out of it came out many ‘rasams’ – or special celebrations on various occasions.  One such is ‘Aiburobhar’.

My children laughed at the word ‘buro’ which means an old man and reckoned it must be something to do with old people.  I had to correct them and tell them Aiburo means an unmarried young adult male or female and ‘bhat’ means rice – and it is associated with the rice that the young bride or bridegroom to be eats before they tie the knot.

In Bengal we have many rice eating ceremonies. Mukhebhat – rice eating ceremony for babies when the first incisors come out.  We have boubhat when the ‘bou’ or the bride enters her in-laws place and feeds her in-laws with cooked steamed rice as a gesture of becoming part and parcel of the new family and the new life that she enters.  Airburobhat is for either the son or the daughter as a  send off party given by parents usually.  It is virtually their last meal before they get married.

With my daughter Jhilik’s wedding drawing so close many memories are flitting through my mind.  It is not uncommon for a mother to cry for months before her daughter’s wedding as she has to leave her parents house.  It is also the time for the credit and debit to match – hisab kitab theekh thak. It is only natural for a mother to reflectover the long years prior to her marriage, what was right and what was wrong, what could have been and did not or how can it be made better as she enters a new life.  This is a pattern of thinking that a Bengali mother about to see her daughter married off indulges in.  Surprisingly I have proved to be no exception.  I have been crying off and on for the past couple of months looking at credits and debits – what could have been and what would have been from my side.  Thanking God for His mercy and grace on my daughter’s life as she enters a loving family.  Having done all the crying and some arguing as certain things started bubbling over IT WAS TIME FOR AIBURHOBHAT FOR MY DAUGHTER LAST WEEK – Thank Goodness!

I went to our local market and bought some huge prawns, goat meat(first time in Australia), spices and nuts from the local Indian store, raw mangoes for mango chutney with tomatoes, Payesh(Payesam/rice pudding) with jaggery and nuts, luchi/puri(deep fried flat bread that puffs when deep fried) Dum Aaloo(curried potatoes with fried boiled eggs), Pulao(special rice from Bengal bought from Bangladeshi shop) and some saunf( mouth freshners after heavy meal).  This was not much but enough for all of us as my son Mark’s friends were also not used to much heavy Indian food.

The interesting part was – we discussed about Aiburobhat in the olden days – what the girl wore, how she would have sandal paste decorations on her forehead as a mark of blessing, etc etc.  Jhilik finally relented and wore an Indian top which we bought from the local store and wore some beautiful gold jewellary that she received as gift from her dad and step mother.

Overall it was wonderful – the fun part was going over to her place and making the puris.

Last but not the least – yes I did bake some stuffed capsicums – stuffed with lamb mince and curried potatoes – a delicacy of the Kolkata(Calcutta) inner city babus(westernised Indian people) who have been influenced by the British.

My cooking is pretty ordinary these days and I feel quite nervous at the thought of cooking for a lot of people. The prawns and the goat meat had very different ingredients and I just had to remember every step and had to make sure everything was right.  All said and done it wasn’t too bad.  I of course prayed over every cooking and it came out fantastic!  Praise the Lord!  He made my day.