The mindset in an undivided family
Breaking Free from Outdated Beliefs
Being born as an unwanted female child in an undivided Hindu family during turbulent times felt like the worst thing that could happen to a newborn. But the truth is—being born an unwanted male child in the same family is just as heartbreaking.
Every child comes into this world with a purpose. Yet, when you’re born into the aftermath of wars and social unrest, survival becomes the first lesson—even before love, identity, or freedom.
From the very start, we learn to adapt quickly. We read the room, watch every reaction, and seek approval from parents, relatives, and even distant family members—as if their acceptance is the only key to survival.
But here’s the question that changed my life:
Do we really need to keep seeking approval from people who no longer have a meaningful role in our growth?
The Turning Point
One hard truth eventually hit me: I don’t need their approval to live my life authentically.
I grew up in a culture where deference to elders was expected, where every choice was filtered through their lens of what was “right.” But those same elders, tied to outdated values, often offered little guidance for the challenges of a rapidly changing world.
Breaking free from that approval-seeking mindset was not easy. It’s like shedding generations of inherited fear and shame. But it’s also the only way forward.
We can study the ways of the past—the traditions, the rituals, the hierarchies—but we must also have the courage to call them what they are: anchors that keep us from moving toward a life of purpose and leadership.
Why Change is Urgent
Generations of misguided honor and unquestioned obedience have kept entire communities stagnant. If we do not challenge these inherited beliefs, the cycle of silence, subservience, and missed opportunities will only continue.
Leaders are not born from constant compliance. They are born when someone dares to think differently, to listen to a higher calling, and to step forward even when approval is withheld.
If we want authentic leadership to rise—in the Indian subcontinent, in the diaspora, anywhere—then a massive shift needs to happen. Outdated bonds need to loosen. Ties built on fear and control must break.
Choosing Authenticity
Living a life of authenticity and purpose is never the easy path. Our ancestors often taught us to “keep the peace,” to take the safe route, and to avoid confrontation. But easy doesn’t build strength. Easy doesn’t build leaders.
Every vision, every dream planted in your heart—whether your own or the unfulfilled dream of an ancestor—demands courage. And courage requires a shift: from seeking approval to standing firm in your truth.
What can you do about this right now?
Look around your life today. Where are you still seeking permission to be yourself? Whose approval are you afraid to lose?
It’s time to stop living small. Stop dimming your light for the comfort of others. Choose growth. Choose freedom. Choose to lead—not just for yourself, but for the generations to come.
The moment you stop seeking validation from others, you begin to step into the life you were always meant to live.
World Without Walls 